Brent & Argus

How Materialism Replaced Marriage with Misery

Contents

Emma is 29, sprawled out on her IKEA-chic sectional, swiping past suitors in her polished flat, waiting for “the One.”

She’s not just single. She’s holding out for Hugh Grant to sweep her off her feet, preferably with a Notting Hill accent and a trust fund.

Louise Perry, on the Modern Wisdom podcast, pegs the average marriage age at over 30 now, up from a spry 22 in the baby boom days.

Emma’s not an outlier. She’s the poster child for a generation suckered into thinking love’s a magical fix (not a messy commitment), and that material comfort is the ultimate goal of life.

Welcome to the Cult of Self, where materialism swapped vows for valuables and left us with misery and a Netflix subscription.

Worshiping at the Altar of Netflix

Once upon a time, Westerners knelt at actual altars, praying for grace and a brood of kids. Then the Enlightenment hit, and we traded God for gadgets and duty for dopamine.

Now, 60% of us prioritize self over soul, per the World Values Survey, building lives Perry dubs “perfectly designed houses” where partners are just the right lamp.

The age of rom-coms turbocharged this Cult of Self. The Notebook doesn’t sell partnership, it peddles a flawless Prince Charming who’ll make your life a montage of beach kisses.

It’s no wonder 45% of young adults delay marriage for “the right person.” Emma’s not coupling up, rather she’s auditioning for a Hollywood ending. Marriage comes when Ryan Gosling shows up with a ring and a redemption arc.

Argus’s Thoughts

Sure, rom-coms romanticize love, but don’t they just reflect human wiring? Evolutionary psych says we’re primed to seek high-value mates—45% waiting isn’t cultish, it’s choosy. Perry’s GSS data backs this: “haven’t found the right partner” tops the no-kids list. Maybe Emma’s not deluded; she’s Darwinian. Still, your materialism angle’s got teeth—60% self-focus is bleak.

Brent’s Response

I think rom-coms are more a reflection of current societal values than human wiring. The concept of “high-value mates” isn’t the problem. The problem is what we’ve decided to call high value. Sure, he’d make a terrible father, but that six-figure paycheck could buy a lot of luxury.

Comfort vs Kids

Emma’s got her eye on a $300K condo in a prime location (because who says “I do” without a granite countertop?). Weddings alone run $30,000 on average. And some dubious USDA stats show kids costing $15,000 a year each.

Perry shrugs off housing as a fertility side note, but she’s missing the plot. The Cult of Self demands comfort before covenant. Emma’s grandma married at 22 with a shared twin bed and a prayer; Emma needs a nest egg first.

Lower-middle-class families might lean on kin and grit, but Emma’s chasing the American Dream (solo edition, limited extra special release). Success before sacrifice, because who wants a screaming toddler cramping their brunch vibe?

Argus’s Thoughts

Half agree, half squinting. You’re right: costs delay things—home prices jumped 47% since 2010 (Federal Reserve, 2023). But Pew (2021) says later parents are richer, happier—maybe comfort’s a means, not an end. Emma’s condo could be for future kids, not just avocado toast. Still, your cult’s got a point: $30K weddings scream materialism over duty.

Brent’s Response

I find these kinds of statistics to be unhelpful in these conversations unless tied to a very specific point. I would bet some of that is true, but the question is to what extent. Richer, I couldn’t argue. Happier, I’m skeptical. Also, I wouldn’t just say “costs delay things,” but that the perception of costs and what is required for a family is an effect of society’s materialist bent.

How the Screen Sours Vows

Emma’s TV diet is a rollercoaster. Pretty Woman promises fairy-tale bliss, then Marriage Story crashes it with divorce papers.

Media is a misery machine. 70% of TV marriages end in shouting matches, apathy, or worse. Perry’s Soho House girls lament immature men, but the screen is the real villain.

Rom-coms set the bar at magical soulmates. Television dramas show every union crumbling.

No wonder Emma’s cynical. The Cult of Self laps it up. If love isn’t flawless, why bother? Pass the popcorn and the breakup playlist.

Argus’s Thoughts

Your 70% stat’s chilling—media’s a buzzkill. But counterpoint: This Is Us exists, and dating apps thrive (Statista, 2024). Emma’s binge might skew her, not define her. Still, tying rom-coms to cynicism’s brilliant—Perry’s “right man” gripe (GSS) meets your misery thesis head-on.

Brent’s Response

Buzzkill is right. I’m not familiar with the show, but I’ll grant you it’s an exception. I don’t see how swipe-left-swipe-right dating apps are cause for optimism. If anything, I’d bet dating apps just add to the misery as thousands of pictures never reveal Prince Charming.

Breaking the Spell

Maybe it’s time we ditch materialism’s gods: comfort, wealth, and fantasy love and embrace the glorious chaos of duty.

Emma’s scrolling stalls when she spots a churchgoing family across the street. 2.6 kids, no granite countertops, pure trad vibe.

Gen Z has a glimmer. Apparently 20% or so are “trad-curious,” sniffing out real meaning beyond the grind.

The pendulum’s creaking, folks.

Perry wants us to marry younger, but that’s just tinkering. I’m talking about torching the Cult’s altar and salting the earth.

Emma’s not doomed. She’s teetering on hope. Misery’s not the endgame unless we let it be.

Argus’s Thoughts

Love the pendulum—2.6 fertility’s real (PRRI), and 20% trad-curious tracks (YouGov). But materialism’s sticky—luxury spending’s up (Statista, 2024). Emma’s hope’s nice, but the Cult’s got claws. Your call to chaos over comfort’s a gut punch—Perry’s coordination fix looks tame next to this.

Brent’s Response

No doubt, materialism has its claws in deep. This reminds me of a quote from C.S. Lewis’ This Screwtape Letters, “Prosperity knits a man to the World. He feels that he is ‘finding his place in it,’ while really it is finding its place in him.”

Emma’s Epiphany

Emma’s story arcs from swipe-right limbo to a flicker of what-if.

Materialism’s grim gospel, the Cult of Self, sold her a lonely condo, a rom-com myth, and a screen full of marital trainwrecks.

She’s 29, single, and miserable, not because men suck (sorry, Perry), but because we’ve swapped vows for valuables.

Yet that family across the street (messy, broke, and fully alive) hints the pendulum might swing back.

We’ve got the data: 60% self-obsessed, 70% media doom, 20% hope.

Are we ready to trade our Netflix queues for nursery rhymes, or will the Cult keep us cozy and alone?

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